


Want

by percyinpanties



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Blowjobs, Boys Kissing, Drowning, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Near Death Experiences, Some Fluff and Angst, also boys being stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2018-03-11 10:04:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3323444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/percyinpanties/pseuds/percyinpanties
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Percy and Jason face death twice in one day, as a result, their adrenaline leads them somewhere entirely new.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An entirely different pull

**Author's Note:**

> Massive thanks to [ Mab](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenie_Mab/pseuds/Queenie_Mab) for betaing this monster for me.  
> It will be continued, I'm not sure yet if there will be two or three parts.

 

 

Jason was absolutely sure they were done for. After defeating giants and titans, the two greatest demigods of their time would find their end to a flock of low class monsters. They had encircled him and Percy, blocking their way to the possibly saving sea and any hope for fleeing Jason had harboured. The Argo II was right out of reach, no chance in calling for help either and after having been wounded there was no way Jason could fly them as far as they needed. He pressed his back against Percy’s, both of them slowly circling, looking for an opportunity to either fight their way to the water, or to find a new route to flee.

“Flying isn’t an option?” Percy hissed behind him, and Jason could feel the other boy shift on his feet. The monsters knew as well as they did that the two half-bloods were cornered, and were taking their time.

“Not far enough,” Jason murmured back, though he was sure they could easily be overheard.

“Into the sea?”

Somehow, Jason hadn’t considered combining their powers like this, though it might be their best shot at escape. Instead of answering, still worried their plan might get discovered before they had a chance of executing it, Jason closed his free hand around Percy’s and squeezed. The gesture was simple enough, even a son of the sea god should be able to understand what Jason meant to tell him with it, and sure enough, before the monsters managed to catch on, Percy whirled around and lunged at Jason the very second the boy took off into the air. As expected, they didn’t get far before the surface of the water came rushing toward them very fast, but with Percy’s limbs tangled in his, Jason wasn’t afraid of the sea.

Ever since the war, the two demigods had grown closer with every passing day. Unlike many of his friends, Percy didn’t mind Jason touching him, and Jason did – frequently so. Leo would continuously mock them about the number of times they had been caught cuddling or hugging or even just sitting questionably close and all up in each other’s space.

There was more to it, on Jason’s part at least, not that he’d ever bring it up with Percy. He wouldn’t risk losing their easy closeness, the comfort they had with each other. When Leo teased them, neither of them minded, and to be frank, neither of them cared a lot about how it looked to an outsider. Those who were important understood.

The impact with which they hit the surface of the water pressed all the air out of Jason’s lungs, bringing his thoughts straight back to the present. It had the opposite effect on Percy, who relaxed as soon as they dove into the water. After a moment’s hesitation, Jason dared taking a breath. While he knew Percy would make sure he didn’t drown, it always took a bit of overcoming his instinct for him to actually start breathing under water. Jason mused that perhaps this was what Percy felt every time they shot into the air.

Once he started to relax, he disentangled himself slightly from Percy, so they were joined by their hands instead of being wrapped around each other like octopuses.

“While we’re here, I gotta show you something.”  With a mad grin spreading on his face, Percy took them deeper into the water, further away from the shore and out into the darkening ocean. His friend didn’t acknowledge his raised eyebrow and after a minute of plunging, Percy stopped, struggling only for a second to level their floating in the water. Jason looked around, nothing but darkness surrounded them.

“I can’t see shit, Percy.” He stated dryly, but Percy put a finger to his lips, shushing him, the mad look still on his face. Jason frowned, but for once did as he was told. A moment later, he realized why. There was a faint glowing in the darkness, and soon after Jason could see why Percy had brought him to this place. At first, it seemed like Percy had acted on one of his inexplicable whims, plunged them uselessly deep into the water for no reason other than an urge to do something stupid. Around them was a reef, fish winding their way in and out of corals and even between their legs; some of them were glowing faintly, luminescent in the dark. Jason gaped. Percy chuckled, pleased, then nudged Jason’s ribs with his elbow and pointed at something to their left. Playing in between the fish and sea plants were two hippocampi, rather small and probably nothing but foals, their rainbow fins reflecting what little of the faint glow of the moon could reach the ocean floor every now and then. Percy must have sensed the mass of life down here, bringing Jason down to share it with him and to take a moment to recover from their recent near-death experience. It worked its magic, instead of the worry that had gnawed on him like a demon in the pit of his stomach, he felt peaceful. When you were surrounded by playing baby fish instead of raging ugly monsters, it was rather hard to stay negative. He looked back at Percy, the grin spreading on his own face like it was infectious. For once, the faint urge to punch the son of the sea god was gone completely, replaced by an entirely different pull. By a long shot, this wasn’t the first time Jason had felt this very distinctive pull in his gut, but right now, it was stronger than he remembered it ever being before. Up until that moment, Jason also hadn’t voiced his thoughts, not even in his own head. But then their eyes locked, Percy’s sparkling with a mad excitement that always surrounded him in the water, and all the adrenaline and excitement of the fight and their escape was cursing in Jason’s veins. It made his heart start thrumming in his ears and his thoughts spin until there was just one line playing itself on repeat in Jason’s mind: _I really want to kiss you._

The thought hit him so harshly that he let go of Percy completely, and in a rush, as if trying to shy away from his own train of thought. It didn’t hit him until the water pressure did, that this was a really, really stupid move. The water closed in around him with the weight of a ton of bricks, not only drenching him completely, but pressing any air that was left out of his lungs. Jason felt like he might combust, trying to take a breath in his panic and instead filling his lungs with water.

What happened afterward was more or less a rush. He felt someone grabbing him again, the bone crushing pain subsiding in an instant, but the echo of it ever-present. Jason felt like the water was everywhere around and inside him, like the borders between his body and the sea were gone. There was a vague feeling of rushing up and up until cold air replaced cold water and he landed with a harsh thud on wood. They were back on the ship, Jason suspected in the daze that his thoughts had become, but he still felt like being trapped miles deeper in the dark of the sea. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t replace the water that filled him with air. Even though he felt the warmth of another person around him, every now and then registering a warm brush of skin on skin, the panic returned. The need to breathe was nearly worse than the pain of water crushing him before, the urge bigger than any reason left in his throbbing head. He felt like he would either implode, or burst from the inside out, the pain blinding his thoughts into a stream of _airpleaseairbreatheair._

Then, there were lips on his and a hand at his neck, the touch scalding and hot on his icy skin. Like a miracle, the air found its way back into him, like it was being forced down into Jason’s lungs. Jason sputtered, his body finally finding the strength to heave the water out of his system and replace it with much needed air. Someone – Percy – turned him on his side, the water kept coming out, more than Jason had realized he swallowed until he finally, finally could breathe again. Every new gulp of air burned on the way down, but it was too good to be able to breathe again to stop even for a second. Nothing but that happened for several minutes, apart from Jason forcing breath into himself and back out, until Jason felt himself very slowly coming back to his senses again. He blinked, realizing several things at once. First, he was curled on the deck in a pool of water and probably bile, fists clenched so hard his knuckles were going white and muscles cramping all over. The son of Jupiter was pretty sure he had been crying - tears of fear or anger, he wasn't sure which anymore. And second, there was Percy, carding a hand through Jason’s hair and resting the other on his back, curled around him like Percy was trying to shield Jason with his own body. Part of Jason registered that Percy was whispering, murmuring soothing words right next to his ear. The burn in Jason’s lungs and throat made way to even worse pain all over his body, and only now did he realize that the hand on his back wasn’t just resting, but trying to heal all that was broken with the water in which they were lying now. When Jason finally mustered the strength to look up at the other boy, he could swear Percy had been crying too. “I’m sorry.” Percy said, voice strangely rough and thick, filled with emotion that was left unsaid. Jason wanted to answer, tried even, but all that left his throat was a hoarse croaking sound. So instead, he heaved himself up, Percy’s arms immediately coming to steady him while Jason was wincing at all the places he was hurting. He crawled straight into Percy’s lap. Several of his ribs must have been broken by the water’s pressure and he could practically feel the bruises forming everywhere on his body, but he could breathe again, and even though it hurt like swallowing glass, Jason was flooded with relief. Percy wrapped his arms around him in return when Jason buried his face in Percy’s neck for a moment. He was alright again. He felt safe.

Without a word, Percy held him close, rubbing gentle circles all over his back - probably trying to heal the many bruises that were waiting to start showing on Jason’s body. He heard a soft sound, Percy whispering apologies against the skin of his neck, and even though he wished Percy would already stop it, Jason couldn’t muster the strength to tell him. Time passed, and Jason’s rattling breaths turned calmer and steadier, his mind clearer, and he couldn’t help but wonder how no one had heard him nearly dying on the deck of the ship. The others must still be on their respective runs, there was no way this mess would have not drawn their attention otherwise.

“Let’s not repeat that.” Jason didn’t bother to raise his head when he spoke up, so his voice was muffled against Percy’s shoulder. The words burned on the way out, but so did every breath he took and Jason figured that’s what he got for acting stupid. He could feel Percy’s chest sag as he exhaled slowly.

“I nearly drowned you, never thought you’d manage to push me that far.” The light tone Percy aimed for didn’t come out right, layered with hurt and guilt and he really hated how Percy sounded, vulnerable and in pain, though really, it wasn’t his fault at all. The son of Jupiter tried letting a bitter laugh escape his lips, but all he managed was a huff of hot air. “It was more me drowning myself really. Not sure what came over me.” Jason smiled, Percy would feel the curve of his lips on his skin from where Jason had now buried his face in the other boy’s shoulder and Percy answered with a huff of his own.

Jason’s heart was thumping in his chest, but he could hear Percy’s heartbeat equally loud and ecstatic. Jason was cold and aching, but so, so alive and he had never been more grateful for it. Drowning must be one of the worst deaths, Jason decided, pressing his eyes shut again and concentrating on Percy’s warmth instead of his own dark thoughts.

Suddenly, Jason had the urge to start laughing. The whole process of having gotten himself into this state was so painfully ridiculous and absurd. Jason was such an idiot, but even the first chuckles rising out of his throat stung in his ribs, so the laugh turned into a groan instead. Percy, honest to Hades, shushed him, pulling out of their embrace to give him a concerned look.

“Your ribs are broken, aren’t they?” Percy sounded like the very thought was causing him to be angry and pained in equal measure, and when Percy gently pressed his hand to Jason’s chest, he flinched. In an instant, Percy’s face pulled into a frown, and the newly lightened atmosphere dissolved the same second. “Your look puts Hades to shame.”

Instead of answering, Jason pulled a face, shivering once all over. He knew he probably looked like he’d freshly risen from the dead. Percy’s frown only deepened.

“Let’s get some nectar in you. And a change of clothes.”

He scrambled to his feet, holding out a hand to help Percy up and wincing when Percy’s weight pulled on Jason’s arm. “Saved the world from Titans and Giants, can’t die of hypothermia now.” He winked at Percy, who finally cracked a small smile again, helping him down the stairs of the Argo II and into the ship’s sickbay.

While Jason gloomily chewed on a square of ambrosia, Percy snuck his way into his cabin, coming back with a change of his own, dry clothes for Jason to wear. As if Jason hadn’t felt bad enough already, he actually needed help getting out of his soaked shirt. Percy’s warm fingers made him shiver whenever they touched his freezing skin. Before Jason managed to pull on the dry shirt, the other boy had placed his palm flat against the side of Jason's torso, a frown back on his face.

“Are you gonna x-ray me?” Jason teased, but Percy only glared at him.

“I nearly killed you, I think I have a right to be worried.” Percy’s voice was dark, and Jason nudged him gently. The ambrosia had actually helped, and while he still felt himself bruising and while his lungs still burned, Jason was pretty sure the worst was done already.

“I nearly killed myself… You saved me.” For once, Jason didn’t feel like joking. Part of him knew Percy needed to hear this, needed to know he meant it, needed the reassurance. Their eyes met and neither of them looked away. It suddenly hit Jason why he had pulled away again, that he was startled by his own desire, enough to let go of the one who kept him alive in the middle of the ocean. Really, he was surprised he'd survived to think about it.

Percy’s brows were knit together, and he was chewing on his lip like he was contemplating whether or not to spill all his secrets at once. What left his mouth instead wasn’t so much a secret as it was a stab.

“Why’d you pull away?” There was an unsaid accusation in the question – Why did you risk your life? – and Percy’s eyes shifted from guilt to hurt now. Jason couldn’t imagine what Percy was possibly thinking, only that it couldn’t be good. He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face and finally moving away from Percy’s hand to pull on his shirt.

“I don’t know.” He tried to say it casually, but it felt like his voice was betraying him. He struggled with the sleeves, the searing pain in his ribs resurfacing again as he moved around. Something on his face – pain probably – must have shown. Without a word, Percy reached out to help with the disagreeable garment.

“Something startled me.” Jason said when he finally was in the shirt. It wasn’t a lie, exactly. And in the end, he couldn’t honestly tell his friend that he was stupid enough to get scared of his own thoughts, of his own romantic thoughts about his best friend. Jason was so screwed.

By the expression on Percy’s face, Jason could tell that he didn’t believe him for a second. Thankfully, the other demigod didn’t push him either, just took a step back and watched as Jason got out of his wet pants and briefs – much to the latter’s embarrassment – and slipped into a pair of Percy’s pyjama pants. Even an idiot would have noticed how close to the surface the other boy’s anger was stirring, but there was nothing Jason could possibly say to change that. Then again, Jason mused, this might be leftover tension from the turmoil they’d gotten themselves into over the course of the day.

Jason was hurting when he moved, which, judging by the look Percy gave him, was painfully obvious. They both shuffled around for a moment, visibly unsure what to say, until Jason sighed and ducked his head to look at Percy.

“Stay with me tonight?”

Percy didn’t answer, but his jaw slowly unclenched, his posture opening up ever so slightly. Jason didn’t need an answer. It was enough when the Percy followed him to his room, quiet and clearly brooding, but there. It was even more than enough when Jason could rest his aching and still cold body against Percy’s warm and soft one, and the gentle circles at his back started again. Even after several minutes had passed, Percy was eerily quiet, and while Jason didn’t particularly mind the silence, it was unlike his friend to not say anything at all. With a wince, Jason pushed himself up on one elbow, shifting until he could meet Percy’s eyes.

“What is it? Just spit it out already.”

Percy was watching him in silence, Jason lifted an eyebrow in emphasis and eventually Percy let out a long sigh.

“Were you trying to hurt yourself?” Even though Percy said it in a quiet and hesitant voice, his eyes made it clear that he was absolutely serious. Jason gaped at him, was that really the impression he had made?

“Gods no. I wouldn’t do that to you, make it look like you killed me. And I’m not suicidal.”

Thus far, Percy didn’t look convinced, but once again, he let the topic drop. It took Jason longer this time to settle back against him, not because he was aching no matter which position he lay in, but because the atmosphere had grown tense and uncomfortable. Jason found that he couldn’t stand it much longer, he shifted again, this time while remaining lying down, facing Percy once more.

“I really didn’t. I was too pumped, alright?” Jason bit his lip, steeling himself for what he was going to imply with his next words. “Too much adrenaline and the deep sea and the reef, that had a bit of a crass effect on me. I was startled by something really stupid.”

Percy eyed him vary. “What was it then?” At this point, Jason figured, he might as well tell him the rest. Percy might be a bit oblivious at times, but not completely stupid. Jason knew that if he didn’t get it out now, it would only end in a misunderstanding worse than the truth. He could feel his own heart thump his chest when he spoke.

“I felt like I was… like we were about to kiss. And that scared me.” Instead of disgust, or even mockery, Percy’s face showed nothing but hurt.

“You’d rather kill yourself than kiss me.” The way Percy said it made clear it wasn’t a question, but a statement. Of course Percy would take this the worst way possible. Jason frowned.

“That’s not what I said.” Starting to move away, Percy muttered to himself, quiet enough for Jason to only barely catch it.

“Might as well have.”

With a fast movement that sent a biting pain through his upper rib cage, Jason caught Percy by the wrist. He cursed at the pain before forcing himself to school his face into a softer mask and look Percy right in the eye.

“Stay… please.” He saw Percy hesitate, but eventually he eased back down onto the bed.

“I was charged with battle energy and the rush of our escape, the thought caught me so off guard that I jumped.” When Percy tried to duck his head away and avoid his gaze, Jason followed. He couldn’t stand being the reason Percy was hurting, even if it was as stupid as this.

“It’s not about kissing you at all; it’s about me being an idiot.”  Jason could tell that Percy didn’t buy it the second the words had left his mouth. Percy scoffed.

“Yeah, that’s why you flinched away from me like you’d been burned.”

The son of Jupiter opened his mouth to reply, but found that he had no words left. Percy was right, he had shied away from his friend because the thought of a kiss scared him more than the ocean around them. There was no proving his point with words because his actions had spoken another language. If Jason wanted to right this wrong, he’d have to use the same language: actions. With a frown on his face, Jason set his jaw and leaned forward, pressing his lips against Percy’s in one swift, yet gentle, motion. Simultaneously, he brought a hand up behind Percy’s neck, holding the other boy firm enough to keep Percy from panicking, but soft enough to be able to be pushed away if Percy didn’t want him.

Kissing his best friend was a stupid thing to do, but Jason felt like it was what he had to do to prove his point. Percy was stubborn and frankly just as much of an idiot as Jason was – and after all the turbulence of barely escaping death twice, Jason figured he really couldn’t be held responsible for any of his actions.  

Percy’s body went stiff when their lips connected, and he didn’t ease up even when Jason pulled away slowly. Percy hadn’t kissed him back, but he hadn’t made any attempt at pushing him away either, so Jason really wasn’t sure what to expect next. There was a heavy silence, then Percy blinked several times.

“You kissed me.” Percy stated, like he was telling him about Nico walking on the moon, fascinating, but absolutely and ridiculously unbelievable at the same time. Jason’s hand hadn't moved from resting at Percy’s neck, and he licked his lips nervously. It was moments like that in which Jason really questioned his affection for Percy, when the other boy was oblivious and a bit of an idiot. But there was no pretending, at the end of the day even that was part of what drew him to Percy. Jason knew that he wanted Percy, had for some time, and had no hope for stopping anytime soon. The time for flinching away and second guessing was over; it had never worked well in the first place, though Jason was aware that this might be his leftover battle energy speaking.

“Can I do it again?”

Jason never got an answer. The question hung in the air for a mere second, then Percy practically threw himself at Jason, their mouths crashing together much less gentle than the first time around. The kiss started out angry, aggressive and desperate, all teeth and tongue and biting, but soon enough, it slowed again. Jason pulled Percy down with him, tangling his fingers in Percy's dark hair, softening their kiss.

Percy sneaked an arm around Jason’s waist, who in return pulled him close by the palm splayed on his back. They sank back on the covers, Percy half covering Jason with his body, their limbs tangled. The thumping of Jason’s heart must have been loud enough to be heard even outside of the room, but feeling Percy’s racing just as fast under his palm made Jason not mind as much. He hooked his fingers into the loops of Percy’s belt, tugging hard enough for Percy to lose his balance and come to fully lie on top of Jason.

Percy shifted until he was straddling Jason’s hips, surprisingly mindful of his weight and Jason’s relentlessly aching bones, breaking their kiss only once in the process. When they kissed again, Percy was humming against Jason’s mouth, sounding much more pleased than Jason would have imagined him being.

He took it as an encouragement to take things further, sneaking a hand underneath the hem of Percy’s shirt and up the boy’s chest. Underneath Jason’s not yet quite warm palms, Percy began to shiver, and he even got as far as past Percy’s ribs, the other boy leant back. Jason nearly followed him up, but was stopped by a hand resting on his abdomen.

They separated and their eyes locked for a moment, both breathing heavily, then Percy grabbed the hem of his shirt and shucked it off. It got bunched somewhere at their feet. Jason didn’t bother looking, but instead took his time to stare at Percy. They had seen each other in less clothing often before, but Jason had never allowed himself to stare this openly, least of all to touch Percy like he was doing now. Gently, the blond trailed his fingers up Percy’s sides, grazing the firm muscle and traveling higher until one was splayed on the Percy’s chest and the other resting at the nape of his neck. Jason sat up, pain forgotten until a dull ache reminded him it was still there. He pulled a face before he met Percy’s lips with his again, a chaste press of nearly closed mouths before pulling back, his hands wandering to his own shirt. He tossed it f to the end of the bed before he sank down again, this time pulling Percy along with him.

When they fell together, their noses nudged against each other forcefully. Percy apparently forgetting that he needed to catch himself before smacking Jason’s face with his own.

Percy cursed, but Jason could only laugh, grabbing Percy by the waist and turning them around. In hindsight, Jason realized he probably should have gone about this slower. There wasn’t as much grace to his movement as Jason had hoped, and his body once again reminded him that it was indeed not yet healed. This time, when Jason huffed a pained breath into Percy’s neck, Percy snickered at him in return. _Fair enough._

The blond pressed a kiss to the crook of Percy’s shoulder, steadying himself more carefully before shifting again until they both were comfortable. Jason was lying between Percy’s legs, upper body resting on his elbows on either side of Percy’s head as he leaned down to kiss him. It wasn’t long until the soft rhythm of their kissing grew wild again. Percy licked greedily into Jason’s mouth, his teeth catching on his lower lip and Jason could feel lust swirling deep in his gut – he moaned.

To his surprise, Percy was not at all startled by the sound, but seemed to be bolstered by it. Percy broke the kiss to lean up and nip Jason’s jaw instead, a hand rising to tangle in his short hair and yank him down enough for Percy to be comfortable while kissing his way down his neck. Percy got as far as sucking a bruise into the hollow of Jason’s collarbone, smoothing over the reddening skin with soft kisses, before Jason tugged his head back up by the hand tangled in Percy’s hair.

The kiss they exchanged was nothing if not dirty, and Jason caught himself grinding his hips down, provoking a low, obscene sound to tumble out of Percy’s mouth. He pushed himself up, taking in the view of Percy before him: mussed hair, swollen lips, pupils dilated.The sight made Jason groan, leaning forward to start trailing a line of kisses along Percy’s jaw, then down his neck. His teeth grazed Percy’s Adam’s apple, then the soft skin underneath, gently nibbling there for a second before travelling further down, his hands trailing up over Percy’s chest as his lips found their way down. He flicked his tongue over one of Percy’s nipples, his thumb stroking over the other, and could hear Percy gasp and moan above him. Repeating his action one, two times before moving on, Jason couldn’t help but grin. There was something incredibly pleasing to know that it was him who elicited noises as filthy as these were from Percy, who had gone over to cursing under his breath. Jason reached the waistband of Percy’s jeans, hanging so low on the boy’s hips that Jason easily could kiss both of Percy’s hip bones without having to tug them down. He still hooked a finger into the hem, letting it trail once around, grinning from where his mouth was latched onto Percy’s skin when he heard the boy’s sharp intake of breath. He peered up at Percy, grin turning into a sheepish smile when he moved his hand to rest over the bulge in Percy’s pants instead, giving it a gentle squeeze. Percy let his head fall back with a moan, Jason chuckled, pleased, his fingers coming to rest against the fly of Percy’s jeans.

“Can I…?” The question seemed to hover in the air between them for a moment, then Percy swallowed and nodded. Jason hesitated another moment, watching Percy’s face for any sign of insecurity, then he popped open the button. His eyes didn’t leave Percy’s as he undid the fly, then sat back to pull the jeans off Percy’s legs. The other boy lifted his hips off the mattress to help him, and Jason couldn’t stop himself from thinking how surreal the whole situation was. He was lying on his bed, fooling around with his best friend after a day of nearly dying not once but twice, no wonder he felt like he was having an out-of-body-experience.

When the jeans were finally removed completely, crumpled on the floor next to the bed, Jason found he didn’t really care about whether or not their situation was surreal; the sight in front of him was real enough. He leant forward, pressing a kiss to the inside of Percy’s knee when suddenly a crash echoed through the ship.

The boys jumped apart, Jason immediately cursing himself for not being more careful with his movements, and Percy stumbling off the bed and to the floor. They stared at each other in shock, as if they both had been awakened from a dream, then Jason scrambled off the bed and out the door.

 

He didn’t realize that he was wearing nothing but the pair of Percy’s pyjamas, which really wouldn’t do much in hiding anything, as he rushed up the stairs to the deck. When he pushed the door open, his eyes fell on Annabeth and Reyna, supporting each other, exhausted, but not visibly hurt. Jason couldn’t make out whatever had made the noise. He glanced over the deck quickly before meeting Annabeth’s eyes. She smiled tightly, but not at Jason. He didn’t need to look over his shoulder to see that Percy had finally made his way up the stairs as well. When Percy passed him, Jason noticed that, while Percy hadn’t bothered with jeans, he was wearing a shirt now – one of Jason’s judging by the size. Lost in his thoughts for a moment, Jason barely noticed the three others exchanging a couple of quiet sentences until Reyna’s hand landed on his arm and his eyes snapped up.

“Huh?”

“I asked if you’re okay.”

Jason nodded, swallowed, and forced a smile on his face. Reyna seemed skeptical and Annabeth raised an eyebrow, but neither of them asked again.

“Let’s just all get some sleep. We can talk tomorrow when the others are here.”

Jason panicked for a second, until he realized Reyna was talking about their respective runs and nothing else. He relaxed slightly, nodded at her, and excused himself back to his room.

As he expected, Percy didn’t follow.

 


	2. This doesn't mean anything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Percy is confused, but if Jason insists it doesn't mean anything, then so it be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I really wanted to post this, but couldn't find a beta, all mistakes are mine. I really hope all paragraphs are where they belong.  
> I was so happy about all the kudos and comments I got, thanks a lot for that.  
> Somehow this turned longer than I ever intended it to be, so you can look forward to at least one more part before I'm done with this storyline.
> 
> This chapter has sexual content, I'm not sure if I will have to update the rating to explicit because of that. You have been warned. ;)

Percy’s hand hovered in front of Jason’s door for nearly a minute. Percy clenched and unclenched his fist, several times now having nearly touched his knuckles to the wood only to pull back again before actually making a sound. The door wasn’t closed, but as good as. Maybe Jason just hadn’t paid attention to whether or not the lock had snapped shut after having basically stormed off the deck before Percy could catch up with him. 

On the other hand, it also could be on purpose. There was a chance, if only a slim one, that Jason wanted Percy to come in. To talk about what had happened or maybe to even continue where they had left off…

_Don’t be ridiculous,_ Percy chided himself. Of course that wasn’t the case. Why would Jason want Percy to come back to him now? When the look Jason had given him earlier was anything to go by, Jason wasn’t keen on seeing Percy again right away. He didn’t think he’d be able to ever get that look of shock and horror out of his mind. Percy let out a shaky sigh – this wasn’t how he had imagined the evening to go down at all. After the day they’ve had, Percy would have been content to just cuddle up to his best friend and not move for the rest of the night. His own mood, his nagging worry, had ruined that quiet, but, as far as Percy was concerned, not in a bad way. Kissing Jason was incredible in ways he hadn’t dared to imagine for a long time, and once they started, Percy didn’t find it in himself to stop. He could have kept going for hours, just savouring the taste of Jason’s lips and the feel of Jason’s body against his own. 

Maybe he really should knock, regardless of whether or not Jason wanted him to. Part of him wanted to go back to whatever this was he was craving, and part of him just wanted to talk before things could turn sour. Wanting something new for once shouldn’t mean destroying the old. 

The sound of footsteps coming down the stairs made up Percy’s mind in an instant. He didn’t want to be seen hovering in front of Jason’s door, but instead of finally knocking and going in, he fled to his own room, shutting the door before he could see be seen. He rested his back against his door, suddenly paranoid, anxious about being caught. It wasn’t even like he could be caught doing anything in the first place, he wasn’t doing anything but standing around, but Percy still felt like he had to hide. This day really must’ve messed with his mind.

A moment passed, then Percy finally decided that he was being stupid. He pushed himself up from the door and fell into his bed. It was then that he realised what he was and wasn’t wearing: no jeans and a shirt that was definitely not his own, judging from the way it sacked off his shoulders. A blush heated up his face and he hastily pulled Jason’s shirt of his body, throwing it as far away from himself as possible. 

Reality came crashing in on him then: He had kissed his best friend… No, his best friend had kissed him; Percy had kissed back. Enthusiastically. They had touched, undressed and Hades knows what more they would have done if the girls hadn’t come back. Percy hadn’t felt like it was a bad thing, in fact, he had enjoyed it a lot while it lasted. With his eyes widening, Percy realised he would do it again, that he would have gone along with it, wherever it might have taken them. Most of all, he didn’t feel the horror or the shock that he had seen written all over Jason’s face earlier. He felt a wanting, an urge to do it again. Gods, he was _so fucked._

The situation itself didn’t make a whole lot of sense to Percy. His confusion wasn’t about the possibility of being gay, or bi, or whatever, in the end, this wasn’t the first time he had been with another boy. After he and Annabeth had broken up there were enough in both camps who offered, and more often than not, Percy had taken the chance. Hell, his first crush had been on a boy, _on Luke_ , though that memory still stung. What really bothered him was that he couldn’t figure out why Jason would have kissed him in the first place, apart from trying to prove a point to either himself or Percy. He was sure the first, awkward one was to do that, to show him Jason wasn’t afraid of touching him even after what had happened in the water. The way Jason reacted when Percy had kissed him in return though…

When it happened, Percy himself was still jittery and on edge, like he always was after coming back from a mission or a fight, but was that a legitimate reason for either of their reactions? Why hadn’t Jason pushed him away earlier when he was so obviously opposed to what they’d done afterwards? 

Percy made a noise of frustration and threw himself down on the mattress, curling in on himself and pulling the covers up to his ears. Feelings were always hard for him, and this time he wasn’t even sure if it was a matter of feelings in the first place. In the end, wanting to kiss Jason didn’t have anything to do with having feelings for him? Of course Percy cared for Jason, they _were_ very close after all, but it never had been in _that_ way, had it? Still, anger and hurt and most of all confusion tied themselves into a knot in Percy’s gut and he curled in on himself. 

Percy hadn’t actually thought about kissing Jason for a long time. In the beginning, he had thought about it a lot, the new guy rubbing him off the wrong way, he was never sure whether he wanted to fight or jump him. Most of the time, probably both. 

Percy had always thought Jason was attractive. It had irritated Percy more often than not, maybe because it was Jason’s clear resemblance to Luke that drew Percy in at the start. The blond hair, the blue eyes, the scar… all these things didn’t just catch Percy’s interest, they also brought conflicting feelings to the surface. 

When he and Jason became friends, both things faded into the background and even as they grew close, Percy didn’t think about his initial attraction again. Until this night that is. 

  


* * *

  


Percy didn’t sleep well that night and woke up feeling like he had been hit by a truck. It wasn’t physical as much as emotional, but his entire body felt like was made of lead, making moving harder even as his body woke. In the shower, he rested his head against the tiles and just let the water rain down on him, eyes scrunched shut and quietly cursing the entire world in his head. This was going to be a bad day, Percy could feel it.

When he entered the mess hall everyone was already gathered around the table – including Jason. Reyna and Annabeth had two chairs pushed up next to each other at the head of the table, Hazel facing them at the opposite end, leaving Nico and Jason with an empty seat each to the sides. Instead of falling down next to Jason, like he had the past days, Percy decided to sit next to Nico instead. The boy gave him a look, but Percy didn’t react, instead just leant back in his chair and stared at the ceiling with tired eyes.

“Someone slept well.” Reyna mocked him, and Percy managed the ghost of a smile and a soft “Morning” in return. He sat up straighter in his chair and planned to actually contribute to the conversation. After all, he had promised Reyna and Annabeth last night to bring them up to date in the morning.

  


Their quest was simple enough, maybe because it had been issued by Percy’s absolute favourite god Ares, or Mars, whatever you wanted to call him. Three teams, one Greek and one Roman each, were to recover one part of a triskelion amulet belonging to the Goddess of love. How it had gotten lost that far south and why exactly this couldn’t have been done by a regular quest consisting of three people was beyond Percy, but he had promised Annabeth not to argue and to just do the deed. He would have gladly given the quest to one of the younger campers, but since the war-god had decided that it was to be a joined quest, and Jason had already asked him to team up, the thought was quickly forgotten.

Hazel was pushing a small package wrapped in a bright white piece of cloth forward on the table, the tension in the air seeming to going unnoticed by the girl. 

“We had barely any problems.” She quipped.” found it fast, then nearly no monsters on the way back. We mostly fled underground.” 

Nico nodded as if confirming her statement, but not saying anything himself. Reyna gave both of them a court nod, then looked between Percy and Jason expectantly. 

“We got it too, not as smoothly.” Percy murmured, now with his elbows resting on the table, not bothering to move before talking this time. He didn’t look at Jason or anyone else, but at the wall between Reyna’s and Annabeth’s faces. When Jason shifted, he still noticed. There was a soft thud, the sound of their piece of the amulet being placed on the table.

“Not much to say about it. We had a close call but got out of it.”

Percy could practically feel Annabeth’s questioning eyes, so he went out of his way to not look at her at all. If he met her eyes, he’d spill everything that he’d rather keep to himself, Annabeth just had this effect on him. Thankfully, she seemed to understand and didn’t prod – Reyna on the other hand wasn’t as kind. 

“What happened?” It wasn’t as much a question as it was a demand. Percy sighed, he really didn’t want to talk about anything involving Jason right now, and especially not about that, but Reyna was in charge of the quest and Percy couldn’t lie about all of it.

“I nearly let Jason drown, it wasn’t nice for either of us. Can we drop it?” It was close enough to the truth, Percy figured, and it served the purpose of shutting everyone up.

The silence that followed was too heavy for any of them to break. Eventually, everyone went back to their own breakfast, Reyna having placed their part of the triskelion to the others on the table minutes ago. Percy didn’t really want to think what the rest of them might be thinking, probably that they fought and he tried to hurt Jason – a thought that Percy barely could bear. He felt the eyes of the others on him, and maybe even Jason’s, so after he finished his bowl of cereal, Percy stood up and fled the room.

At first, he wanted to hide out in his room, hoping he could go for the rest of the day without having to talk to anyone this way, but he realised that would only make him more suspicious. In the end, he settled on the deck, perching himself next to the masthead of the ship, overlooking the sea. 

He was left alone for a good two hours before someone approached him. Percy turned to look at them over his shoulder and met a pair of grey eyes. 

“Annabeth?” If he was being honest with himself, it didn’t surprise him. 

  


Even after he and Annabeth had broken up a year ago, they had stayed as close as they were before. The end of their relationship was hard for both of them of course, but after Annabeth discovered that she indeed preferred girls – something that shouldn’t have surprised Percy as much as it did – he hadn’t all that much left to offer her. After a night filled with tears and promises, they had decided it was best to go back to being friends. It had taken Percy some time to completely get over her, Annabeth had been his first love after all, but in the end he accepted that their friendship was more valuable than keeping up an act. They still loved each other, but it was different now. She was easily his closest friend, the one that knew him best, and even now when Percy didn’t want to talk to anyone at all, he still valued that she offered.

Percy eyed her vary now, unsure whether it was better to run and try to avoid the conversation that was unmistakably coming. In the end, he resigned himself to scoot over and allow Annabeth to sit next to him. It wasn’t like she would make him talk if he didn’t want to at all. The quiet held on for several minutes, then Annabeth spoke up. 

“Are you gonna be okay?” 

There was no need for her to clarify, Percy immediately knew she was talking about him and Jason. Of course she was. Not that there was anything else to talk about in the first place. 

“What makes you think we’re not?” As soon as said it, Percy knew it was a stupid move. It was obvious there was something definitely not right between them, and pretending there wasn’t wouldn’t get him anyway. Besides, he couldn’t lie to Annabeth. She’d only be hurt about Percy’s lack of trust in her. 

“Sorry.” Percy sighed. “I don’t know if we are… We will be again though.” The _‘I hope’_ was left unsaid, but Percy felt like Annabeth could hear it anyway. She wasn’t one to prod, so she left Percy alone when he didn’t offer any more information. Percy was glad for it, and instead of talking they sat for a while longer. Annabeth rested her head on Percy’s shoulder and watched the waves with him, he was grateful for the silent comfort. 

The rest of the day went down in a similar manner. After Annabeth left and Percy stopped sitting around and pouting, Reyna tried getting him to talk again. Like he had at breakfast, he asked her to let the subject drop, but she only crossed her arms. Eventually, Percy admitted to not being sure what had happened in the water and that he blamed himself for being careless with Jason down on the floor of the ocean. Reyna wasn’t content, but understanding that it was all she was going to get, she left him alone. At one point, Hazel tried getting Percy to talk, and while she was one of his closest friends, Percy didn’t want to talk to her any more than he wanted to talk to Annabeth and Reyna. For a short moment, he had thought Nico was going to say something to him as well, but it turned out to just be Percy misreading him. Not for the first time he had trouble interpreting the looks Nico was giving him, but then again, Percy wasn’t sure he would ever get close figure Nico out. 

At least no one seemed to be angry with him, no one except Jason, who always looked away with a frown when Percy managed to catch his eyes. Several times, he wanted to approach Jason, but each time someone else rounded the corner or Jason turned away before Percy got to him. It was absolutely frustrating. 

  


Dinner in the evening was just as tense as breakfast had been, and Percy knew that was mostly his fault. He had sat down next to Nico again, who this time not just gave him a look, but openly glared at him. Percy frowned at the boy, but apart from that didn’t show any reaction. Hazel and Reyna chatted across the table, but about nothing of substance. Maybe they were trying to diffuse the tension that had fallen over the group, but no one really seemed up for chatter. As he had done that morning, Percy left the table early, this time going to hide in his room. He couldn’t stand sitting there a second longer. 

  


* * *

Percy was lying on his bed, already changed into pyjama pants. He was watching the ceiling, lost in his own thoughts, when he heard a knock on the door. He rolled his eyes, thinking it was probably either Annabeth or Reyna again, giving him shit for behaving like he a kid. Percy didn’t exactly blame then, he was being childish after all, but that didn’t mean he actually enjoyed being lectured. Apart from that, he wouldn’t actually mind Annabeth coming to see him, it was time for him to open up. He had thought about seeking her out himself. 

When he opened the door though, he was face to face with a different blond. Percy’s heart sank. “Jason.” 

“Can we talk?” Jason was speaking quietly, his face showing hurt and insecurity badly masked underneath a small smile. 

“Sure… come in.” Percy stepped aside, allowing Jason inside his room before closing the door behind him. Jason sat down on Percy’s bed, looking up at him with wide sad eyes.

 _Great._ Percy hesitantly sat down across from Jason, not as close as they usually were, but not far enough to make it look like he was trying to bring some space between them. For a while, neither of them spoke. Nevertheless, Percy was shifting uncomfortably in his place, the silence was stretching and the tension coming back. Part of him felt awkward for only wearing his pyjama pants, but it wasn’t like Jason’s hadn’t seen him like this before. He tried avoiding to meet Jason’s eyes but ended up catching himself staring more often than not. 

“I’m not actually sorry for kissing you.” When Jason broke the silence, Percy’s eyes snapped up however. He stared at Jason, who was looking back at him. _Jason wasn’t…what?_

“I…” Jason hesitated, the way his face scrunched up meant Jason was probably searching for the right words. “I mean, it wasn’t … like it meant something? But I liked kissing you.” Jason pursed his lips, now looking at Percy with an unreadable expression. Percy wasn’t sure what he should make of that, but when he wiggled in his spot again, it was closer to Jason this time. 

“That’s good.” Percy swallowed around the lump in his throat. “’cause I liked kissing you too.” No meaning, just kissing. That shouldn’t sting as much as it did. He nodded, confirming that he meant what he said more to himself than to Jason, but the blond still seemed pleased with what Percy had said. They shared a small smile, and once again, Percy shifted closer, their legs now touching. Was it as easy at that? 

“Think we can do it again then?” Jason was grinning at him and _gods_ Percy didn’t think he’d ever wanted to kiss someone as badly as he wanted to kiss Jason right then. So kissing Jason was what he did. 

It was just a small press of closed mouths, chaste and soft, and when Percy pulled back right after, Jason’s grin had turned into a fond smile.

“You call that a kiss?” Jason whispered and Percy caught Jason’s eyes flicking to his lips before meeting Percy’s eyes again. 

Percy laughed, raising a hand to the back of Jason’s head and pulling the other boy back in. Neither of them made any attempt to deepen their kiss, just exchanging sweet pecks until Percy settled onto Jason’s lap. This held no meaning, that was what Jason had said, but Percy still felt warmth spreading through his body. One of Jason’s hand was caressing his cheek, the other holding him close at the small of his back. He was resting his forehead against Jason’s, smiling ever so slightly, when Jason spoke up again. 

“What are we doing?” Jason’s words were accompanied by a laugh, soft but insecure, filling Percy with unease. Talking about it meant giving up this easy dynamic. It meant admitting either that it meant something, and figuring out what that was, or admitting that it was nothing and stop it before that changed. Percy wasn’t sure which option scared him more, _no_ , he was not about to go down this road, not daring to find out where it might lead them.

“I think it’s called kissing.” Percy retorted, the pause too long already, but still forcing his words to sound casual, like he was joking. Before the blond could answer, Percy kissed Jason fiercely. There was no chance Jason would have let him off that easy, but _they were not_ having this talk now, so he made sure Jason would have a better use for his mouth until this possible talk had slipped Jason’s mind. 

Percy coaxed Jason’s lips open with his tongue, turning the kiss deep and dirty. He let a hand trail down Jason’s chest, nibbling on the boy’s lower lip when he slipped his fingers underneath the hem of Jason’s shirt. When Jason gasped in response, Percy grinned into their kiss, letting his fingers only sneak higher, brushing over muscles and skin. With his thumb, he circled one of Jason’s nipples, letting go of Jason’s lips to move his kisses further along. Finally, Jason started to respond to Percy’s touches, dragging the tips of his fingers over the exposed skin above Percy’s pants. 

Any plans for talking seemed to be forgotten, a fact Percy was more than a little pleased with. He took advantage of his position on Jason’s lap, and while his hands were roaming wherever they could reach, Percy started circling his hips. A groan fell from Jason’s lips and Percy felt himself being pushed away, his back hit the mattress and before he had a chance to do anything about it, Jason was hovering over him. Instead of kissing him, like Percy thought Jason would, Jason’s lips traced the lines of his jaw before moving on to licking a thin stripe down his neck.

Percy shuddered involuntarily, trying to push his body up against Jason’s. He heard Jason chuckle and then the other boy leant back again, looking at him with amusement. Jason kept his eyes on Percy’s as he trailed a hand along Percy’s sides, barely touching him at all. With a grin spreading on his lips, Percy sat up as much as his position allowed, trying to get a hold of Jason’s lips again. When Jason only stroked his fingers over Percy’s stomach, not making a single move to meet him, Percy couldn’t help but roll his eyes. Granted, he had been teasing Jason just a minute ago, but this was just provocation now. With one hand pushed against Jason’s shoulder, Percy threw his weight in one movement to turn their formation around. Percy grinned at the surprised expression on Jason’s face, and before he settled on top of Jason, he sneaked his hands underneath Jason’s shirt, tugging it up and over Jason’s head. 

Tangling one hand in Jason’s hair, Percy leaned down to connect their lips once again. Just like their earlier kiss, this one was gentle and slow right from the beginning. Percy wanted to make Jason feel good, wanted him to enjoy this and make it last, not to have it turn into another heated encounter that got interrupted before it even started. There was nothing but the soft press of their closed mouths for a while, then Jason parted his lips and Percy took the invitation to deepen their kiss. He swept his tongue over Jason’s lower lip, then into his mouth, their tongues sliding against each other. Unable to help himself, Percy hummed against Jason’s mouth, shifting closer and rolling his hips against Jason’s, earning a moan in return. 

Percy only broke their kiss to press a line of smaller ones along Jason’s jawline. Jason arched up against him, tipping his head back and giving Percy better access. Alternating between nibbling, kissing and biting, Percy made his way up to the soft spot behind Jason’s ear and then back down over his throat to his neck. He sucked a hickey into the hollow of Jason’s throat and then left another mark right over the collarbone. Jason had relaxed into the mattress underneath and Percy took his time working his way down Jason’s chest.

Kissing and teasing, sometimes rolling his hips against Jason’s, he drew more moans out of Jason, feeling the sounds reverberate under his lips. When he flicked his tongue over one of Jason’s nipples, he elicited an even lower noise. Percy stroked his hands up and down Jason’s sides and over his abdomen until he reached the hem of the other boy’s pyjama bottoms. He hesitated for a second, his fingers already hooked underneath the hem, and looked up at Jason. 

“Can I?” Percy was surprised by how low his own voice sounded, but even more by the eagerness with which Jason replied. 

“Gods yes.” 

Percy slipped off Jason’s pants swiftly then, sitting back to pull them completely off Jason’s legs and eventually came to kneel between them. The sight in front of him was beautiful, Percy couldn’t deny it if he tried. Jason was sprawled out in front of him, blushing deeply, with one arm thrown over his face, already panting and definitely enjoying himself. Licking his lips, Percy bent down, catching Jason’s eyes just as he pressed a soft kiss to the inside of Jason’s knee. He trailed more down Jason’s inner thigh, placing his second hand on Jason’s hip. When his kisses came closer to Jason’s hard on, he could feel Jason tremble beneath him. With his free hand, he reached for Jason’s cock, giving it two slow strokes – the moan that left Jason’s lips was worth all the teasing before. 

Percy knew what he was doing, there were many who had taught him behind closed doors, and he was now using this knowledge against Jason. Percy mouthed at the base, one hand still on Jason’s hip to keep him down, the other wrapped around Jason’s cock. Percy trailed the tip of his tongue from the base to the tip in one slow and teasing stripe, flicking it flatly over the head before wrapping his lips around it. He felt Jason’s fingers tangle in his hair, thankfully neither pushing nor pulling, just keeping a tight grip. 

The flat of his tongue pressed against the underside of Jason’s cock as Percy sucked it slowly into his mouth, teeth barely grazing when he took Jason as deep as he could before bobbing his head back up again. He swirled his tongue over the head before inching back down, sucking hard. Percy felt Jason’s hip buck, but his hand on Jason’s hip held him in place. Above, Jason’s panting turned more and more into moans and cut-off swears – Percy was sucking him in earnest now, falling into a faster pace and swallowing around him. Just as Percy had settled into his rhythm, he was tugged away and up by the hand tangled in his hair, releasing Jason’s cock with a smacking sound. 

“Gods Percy.” 

Without giving him a chance to react, Jason pushed Percy over and rolled on top of him, bringing their lips together in a bruising kiss. Their mouths slid against each other hot and wet, Jason’s tongue winding into his mouth. 

Suddenly there was a hand down his pants and a hand wrapped around his cock, stroking and squeezing until he threw his head back with a groan, breaking the kiss. Jason latched his mouth to his neck, biting down hard enough to make Percy yelp, push Jason off and turn them back over, grabbing both of Jason’s hands and pin them to the mattress. Then, Percy started laughing. “When I started sucking you off I didn’t think you’d try to mortally wound me in return.” Jason joined in his laughter, and when Percy let go of the hands in his grip, Jason gently brought one up to touch the spot where he’d bitten Percy. 

“Sorry.” Jason met his eye with a mischievous grin. “Can we pretend it was aggressive foreplay?” Instead of giving him an answer, Percy kissed Jason again. They went back to the gentle kissing from before, arms wrapped around each other and legs tangled. 

_This doesn’t mean anything,_ Percy had to remind himself when Jason softly, almost tenderly, kissed the spot he’d bruised. He felt himself blush, but luckily it went unseen by Jason, who was kissing a trail down Percy’s neck and toward his collarbones.

“Percy?” All Jason got for an answer was a hum. “You really need to take these off.”

Percy could feel Jason’s smirk against his skin and the hands moving to open the knot that held his pyjamas on his hips.

“Do I?” He asked, taking Jason’s chin in hand to bring their lips together for a kiss. Percy nipped on Jason’s lower lip and as the other boy nodded into the kiss. Breaking apart, Percy rose his hips from the mattress to help Jason get his pants off. When Percy came crawling back to him though, he slipped, falling hard onto Jason’s chest. Jason groaned, but Percy couldn’t help his laugh, sitting up and smoothing his hands over Jason’s chest.

“I’m sorry.” He huffed, even though he really wasn’t, and the grin that played on his lips stretched revealed this truth. Jason only shook his head with a smile of his own. 

“You’re gonna kill me.” He laughed too then, turning them over without hurry and straddled Percy. Still chuckling, Percy kissed him again, their arms winding around each other. Jason came easy when Percy pulled the other boy close again, bringing them flush from knee to chest. Nearly leisurely, Jason rolled his hips, their erections sliding against each other. Percy moaned into Jason’s mouth, the kiss now broken once more as Jason dipped his head to nip at Percy’s neck. 

“Jason.” When Percy spoke, his voice was breathless. 

“Hm?” Jason didn’t bother breaking away from where he was sucking a new hickey, this time right underneath Percy’s collarbone. It would be still hidden by his shirt, and Percy wasn’t sure whether he was glad or not. He didn’t answer Jason, not sure what he’d say if he did, and felt his face heat up.

 _Something cheesy, that’s what you’d say._ Jason stilled, and Percy almost thought he had voiced his thoughts aloud, but Jason just moved along to kissing his jaw. 

“What is it?” Jason asked, his warm breath tickling Percy’s neck. Percy took a deep breath and considered if he could voice even one of the thoughts running through his mind. After a second, Percy decided against it and instead flipped them over once again. Jason watched dumbstruck as Percy licked a stripe across his palm and reached down, closing his fingers around Jason’s cock. There would be no talking now. 

“Percy, fuck-.” Half of Jason’s moan was muffled as Percy pressed their lips together, licking into Jason’s mouth while his fingers worked around his erection. Percy broke the kiss, mouthing on Jason’s jaw instead, not stopping his movements. Jason’s earlier train of thought seemed forgotten, which Percy was grateful for, if Jason had asked again, Percy would have spilled something that was better kept secret. He hadn’t planned on ruining the mood they had before, the slow kisses and slow pleasure, but he knew that if he’d allow himself to stay like that with Jason, it would have resulted in Percy confessing things neither of them were ready to hear. Percy wasn’t even sure he was ready to think them yet. This didn’t mean anything after all. 

Jason’s breath ghosted hot over his neck and Percy shuddered, then a hand gently wrapped around his arm, stilling his strokes. Jason was panting beneath him, clearly enjoying what was happening, but something about the expression on his face made Percy let go. Jason turned and angled his body toward Percy’s, so they were facing each other lying on their sides. Jason sneaked an arm around Percy’s waist to pull him close, and for some reason his face showed worry. 

“You alright?” Jason whispered, and Percy couldn’t understand how he still managed to be so considerate when they were like this. “Not that I didn’t like that.” A smirk played on the other one’s lips as he continued. “Just kinda came outta nowhere.” 

For a minute, Percy could do nothing but stare at Jason, then he leaned close and pressed a soft, close-mouthed kiss to Jason’s lips. 

“It scared me how much I like this.” Percy whispered, afraid that if he’d say it louder it’d ruin this somehow, that it already was saying too much already. Percy himself wasn’t even sure what he was trying to say, but Jason seemed to understand, he pulled Percy close and kissed him. When he broke off, he cradled Percy’s face in one hand, a gesture so tender Percy wanted to shy away, but didn’t find the strength in himself to do so.

“Want to stop?” Jason asked softly, but Percy shook his head, he wanted Jason, in each and every way you could possibly want a person, and he wanted Jason now too. The thought should scare him, as sappy as it was, and to some extent, it did. Percy shook it off though, if Jason didn’t want this to mean anything, Percy could do this too.

They kissed again, slow and exploring, and after a while, started moving against each other. Percy had been painfully hard since before they even started this, and it had only gotten worse the longer they went on. Now, lying lazy and entangled, their cocks sliding against each other with every movement of their hips, pleasure started to build slowly. Jason broke the kiss this time, resting their foreheads against each other and moaned softly. Percy licked his lips, rolled his hips and got another one of those sweet sounds in return. It went back and forth like this for endless minutes, but it didn’t feel like teasing to Percy anymore. He could feel himself slowly but surely coming closer to his release, and if the sounds Jason was making were anything to go by, so was he.

“Jason.” Percy started, just at the other boy half kissed and half moaned into his neck. “I’m close.” Jason licked his lips instead of giving Percy a response, looking down between their bodies.

“Can I?” He whispered, and Percy nodded instinctively, only realising what Jason asked for when he turned Percy onto his back and slid down the mattress. A second later, hot lips wrapped around the head of his cock, not teasing him like he had Jason before, but sliding straight down and bopping back up, Jason’s tongue licking over the head before he guided Percy’s cock down his throat again. A string of unconnected words and curses started spilling from Percy’s mouth and he twisted his hands into Jason’s short hair, needing something to hold on to. He really hoped he wasn’t saying anything embarrassing, but his words were cut off by a groan when Jason moaned around him, the sound vibrating through his cock. Percy glanced down and saw Jason looking straight up at him, it was the final nudge that send him over the edge. 

In the haze that came after, Percy only barely noticed the bed dipping and Jason sliding next to him again. He turned toward him, wrapping a hand around his neck, and pulled him into a new kiss. There was still a leftover taste of himself in Jason’s mouth, but Percy didn’t mind. He reached down between them, batting the hand away with which Jason was slowly stroking himself and replaced it with his own. It ended surprisingly fast after that, between kissing and sucking on Jason’s neck, Percy nearly missed the shudder that went through the other boy as he came. 

They didn’t move for at least ten minutes, just lying there and exchanging languid kisses, before Percy decided to get up to clean them off. He got a soft towel that he had hung over his chair earlier, cleaned off himself and then Jason, before throwing the cloth away from their mattress and sinking into the bed again. Unexpectedly, Jason pulled him close. Percy didn’t mind at all, he just buried his nose in the other one’s chest, humming contently. He hadn’t expected Jason to stay for cuddles, but it made sense. It was something they had done before all this had happened, when the lines of their friendship were still clear. There was no reason for them to change now, was there? 

Minutes of silence passed before they fell asleep, entangled and naked, not even bothering to cover themselves with the blanket at their feet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments make me weep, in a good way, so if you want to make my day, leave me something, even if it's just something tiny.  
> Thanks for reading.


	3. Maybe actually kind of serious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't proofread or edited this properly yet because I am a lazy little shit. I promise I'll come back tomorrow and take care of that ;)

Maybe telling Percy that them getting off together doesn’t have to mean anything was a bad idea…

When Jason wakes up the next morning he is curled around Percy and it doesn’t feel like it means nothing, or just anything, but actually like quite a lot. Jason is warm and he is content and without actually waking up, Percy makes a cat like mewling sound and snuggles closer. This hasn’t even started and Jason already knows he’s _absolutely fucked._

He threads his fingers through Percy’s hair and feels simultaneously like the biggest sap and a freaking creep, because here he is, watching his best friend sleep cuddled against him and tries to enjoy it while it still lasts.  
After nearly thirty minutes, Percy does wake, blinking sleepily and confused up at Jason, and for a moment he is sure Percy is about to send him to hell.

What he gets instead is a “Morning Sparky.” and a sheepish smile. Jason’s heart flutters in his chest and he tries to swallow the emotions, but they won’t leave. He just smiles back, brightly and absolutely obviously smitten and wonders how Percy never sees these things.

“You stayed.” Percy says next, like he’s surprised and had expected Jason to do the walk of shame to his room right over.

“I did. Want me to go?” Jason says it neutrally, carefully removing any kind of emotion from his voice. This is it, the moment that decides where this will go in the future. Percy yawns and stretches, as usually missing the gravity of the situation.

“Nah, this is nice. Don’t think you get around cuddling with me just because you sucked me off.” Jason’s next breath gets stuck in his throat and Percy grins, far too pleased with himself, while Jason coughs and tries to get back to breathing again.

“Okay.” He wheezes eventually, feeling the need to say something, and Percy is looking at him with an eyebrow raised. Jason isn’t sure what he expected, maybe that Percy would pretend that last night didn’t happen, but certainly not that he’d be so open about it.

When Jason finally steadies his breathing, Percy has already cuddled back against him, rubbing his nose against Jason’s collarbone in an odd gesture that shouldn’t make Jason smile, but does.

“Are you nuzzling me?” Percy hums in agreement and slings an arm around Jason’s waist to pull him closer, not that there was a lot of space between them in the first place. Percy wiggles some more, then finally sighs contently when he finds a position that he’s comfortable in. Jason watches him and decides that his best shot is to do what Percy does: pretend this is normal and cuddle against his friend.

 

They fall back into a lazy stupor until someone knocks against the door. Panic flashes over Percy’s eyes for the fraction of a second, but he seems to catch himself before it breaks through.

“What is it?” He calls, and Jason narrows his eyes. Percy makes himself sound far more tired than he actually is and Jason knows it’s on purpose.

“Will you graze us with your presence today?” Reyna’s voice comes through the door and Jason can practically hear both her smile and her eye roll.

“It’s early.” Percy whines and grins at Jason, who suddenly feels like being in here with Percy while Reyna is just outside of the door is a really, _really_ bad idea.

“It’s past noon, get your ass out of bed.” Reyna still sounds somewhat amused, but she’s getting annoyed now and Jason quietly prays to his father to keep her out of the room. He knows it’s stupid, but the mischievous glint in Percy’s eyes makes him feel vary.

“And get Grace as well, he’s not even answering the door.” Jason’s eyes go wide and Percy looks like he’s having a hard time not laughing.

“I’ll take care of him.” Jason really doesn’t like the sound of that. Well no, that’s a lie. He totally does, and so do certain parts of his body that Percy’s hand are drifting dangerously close to.  
What he is actually vary about is the fact that for all they know, Reyna is still outside of the door and Percy seems about ready to jump Jason.

For a moment, nothing happens, then Jason hears Reyna’s footsteps retract down the hall. Percy’s grin grows and Jason swallows. This won’t end well for him.

* * *

 

When they get back to Camp Half Blood, everything seems to be like before the quest again. Percy is still seeking out closeness and contact, but so is Jason, and it’s not like that has been any different before. Jason doesn’t actually mind that much in the beginning.  
They also spent just as much time together as they did before they… got intimate with each other. They train together and fight together, not once does a situation turn awkward, but after that last morning on the Argo II nothing outside of the parameters of friendship happens again. Jason is glad, he wouldn’t want to lose Percy as a friend just because he has no control over his wanting. Maybe he can live with never going down that road again, if it means he can keep Percy as his best friend.

After a week though, Jason starts feeling on edge. Percy is not acting any stranger than usual, so every time Jason thinks he notices something he blames it on wishful thinking. He doesn’t know whether the hand that lands on his thigh during the campfire is teasing or coincident, he doesn’t know whether Percy purposefully seeks out full body contact when they are wrestling or if Jason himself is actually the one doing it. Jason has no idea if the challenge in Percy’s eyes is the same that Percy gets when he’s trying to one up Jason, or if it’s a different kind now. It annoys Jason, not that Percy is sending confusing signals, but that Jason isn’t sure if Percy is actually sending signals in the first place.

Another weeks goes by without anything happening before something in Percy snaps while they are in the arena. With a huff of frustration, Percy throws Riptide to the side in the midst of their sparring match and gives Jason a shove with his bare hands.

“You really can’t take a hint, can you?” Jason has enough time to retort a confused “what?” before he is pushed again.  It goes downhill from there.

He barely has enough time to throw his gladius to the side before Percy delivers the first hard punch, and Jason’s thoughts go down ways he’d rather not have them right now. Maybe he enjoys getting physical a little too much, maybe the way they collide reminds him too much of the different ways their bodies fit together.

There is something undeniable sexual about fighting with just your hands. It is wild in a way, and sometimes all the tactics and training get lost in the heat of the moment and you rely on bare instinct.  
Jason hadn’t thought about it like that for a while, but now that Percy is coming at him, the thoughts sneak to the front of his mind again. Jason doubts he should think about their _brawling_ like that.

Not long and both of them are covered in a thin layer of sweat, chests heaving and eyes glowing brightly with the trill of a good fight. In the seconds that they stand apart, Percy pulls his shirt over his head, and Jason tries to convince himself that he only follows because he can fight better without.

Then Percy is on him again, and this time they are touching more than they should while exchanging blows. Every now and then they even go back to circling each other, holding each other’s eyes and grinning and Jason is so past the point of common sense that he doesn’t even consider what this must look like to an outsider.

Again and again, they clash, skin on skin, and Jason stops trying to hide just how much he is enjoying this. He slips eventually, his foot catching on an uneven bump on the ground and then he is stumbling backward.

Percy takes advantage, tripping him and falling down with Jason, effectively pinning him to the ground. He doesn’t even see a point in fighting against it, he hits the ground hard enough to get the breath knocked out of him, while Percy is more prepared and catches his own fall.

Jason is breathing hard and he really can’t do anything but stare up at the other boy. Percy is panting just as bad as he is. If it came down to it, Jason could probably manage to twist them around, but he doesn’t make a move now.

Percy has fallen so that he straddles Jason’s hips and even now, Jason is so far past the point of caring that he doesn’t try to get away before the situation can turn awkward for both of them.  
Instead, he licks his lips, quirking an eyebrow challengingly at Percy.

“What was that about?” Neither of them has said a word since they started, but Jason needs to ask. Percy is watching him, his eyes traveling down the lines of Jason’s chest and then up again, and his brows knit. Then his grip tightens on Jason’s wrist and he does what Jason least expects him to: He grinds his hips against Jason.

Before Jason can stop it, a breathless sound leaves his lips and his head falls back. They are in the middle of the arena, and Jason knows that this is at least fifteen kinds of stupid, but at the same time it is too tempting to actually put up a fight.  
 Percy is apparently much less aware of their situation and does it again, but this time Jason knows what’s coming and rolls his hips to meet Percy’s movement. Percy gasps and Jason grins triumphantly, shifting until he can arch his shoulders off the ground. It looks like Percy is leaning down to meet him, but before either of them find out, someone clears their throat next to them.

Percy’s eyes go wide and he scrambles off Jason, staggering to his feet and bringing some distance between them. Jason just stays where he is, turning his head and looking up at Nico. The boy’s expression is unreadable, and Jason opts for a small smile, which only earns him an eye roll in return.

“I don’t even wanna know.” Nico says, then he turns and leaves before either Percy or Jason get to say anything. Jason figures it’s for the best not to go after him right now. Whatever Nico is thinking, chances are it’s the right thing.

Percy shrugs the situation off surprisingly fast, just shakes his head and gathers his strewn things.  
“I’m gonna take a shower, you joining?” Percy calls over his shoulder and Jason can’t help a grin.

“You in the shower?” He teases, getting to his feet himself. Percy turns around, an eyebrow raised.

“If you wanna.”  
That… well. That certainly isn’t what Jason had expected, but he’d be damned if he turned down an offer like that. 

 

When they get to the showers, Percy hesitates in the doorway, so Jason pushes past him, hands already on the button of his pants. He turns to face Percy and pops the button open, watching how Percy’s eyes follow the movements of his fingers. Jason grins and looks at Percy challengingly, suddenly emboldened by Percy’s shyness.

“You coming or what?” He shoves his jeans down his thighs and lets them fall to the ground, stepping out of them when they pool around his feet. Jason bites his lip and steps toward Percy again, there is no chance he can miss the bulge in Jason’s briefs. It’s amusing how flustered Percy is suddenly acting, as if they hadn’t done this before, but Percy keeps standing still, a blush spreading on his cheeks and down his neck. When Jason crowds into Percy’s space he realises the other boy is holding his breath, and somehow that just makes it more tempting.

“Need some help?” He smirks and watches Percy’s adam’s apple bob as he swallows. Then Jason curls his fingers into the loops of Percy’s jeans, letting his fingers trace the waistband. Jason can practically see Percy’s thoughts race, his brow is wrinkled and his jaw set, like he is determined to do whatever it takes to… do what exactly?  
Jason still isn’t sure what it is they are doing, but his insecurity from last time has faded and made place for a deep burning desire. He _knows_ he wants Percy, and if this is the only way he can have him, then Jason was going to at least try to work it out.

Taking Percy’s stillness as approval, Jason moves his fingers to Percy’s fly. He doesn’t break eye contact when he fumbles with the button, and not when he pulls the zipper down. Percy swallows again, and while he still doesn’t move, he slowly lets out a very deep breath.

Jason steps closer, his eyes crossing when he tries to hold Percy’s gaze with their noses almost touching now. He can feel Percy’s breath ghosting over his lips as he pushes the jeans down Percy’s legs. Percy makes neither an attempt to stop, nor one to help him.

Just when Jason thinks he is going to snap, that he should not be doing this and that he is forcing himself on Percy, the other boy kisses him violently.  
His hands are still on Percy’s hips, so he uses this to his advantage and pulls the other boy close, both shuddering when their bodies press against each other.  
The kiss isn’t tender or gentle, it’s all about claiming and wanting. There are teeth catching on Jason’s bottom lip and tongues sliding against each other and then Percy moans, way too loud for a public place, and Jason’s thought get lost in lust.  
Percy kicks off his pants without their lips leaving each other for anything but ragged breaths and new reconnection and then Jason is pushing Percy up against the wall, grinding their groins together. They barely brake their kiss to breathe, pushing and pulling at each other, Percy’s nails digging into Jason’s back so hard that he just _knows_ it will leave a mark.

He stumbles back a step, dazed with the amount of want cursing through him. It makes the blood rush in his ears and his heart beat fast, his breath coming in huffs and gasps. Percy follows almost immediately, this time latching his lips to Jason’s neck, licking and biting the sensitive skin there. Jason tips his head back, and lets a moan of his own escape.

There is no holding back anymore, he’s been on edge the whole week, trying to figure out how to get back to this. As it seems, so has Percy.  
He rolls his hips against Percy’s, dragging his fingers up Percy’s side and chest, flicking them over one nipple, then pinching the other. Percy gives a whine and bites hard, causing Jason to gasp in response. Percy pauses, panting against Jason’s neck for a second. If he feels just as overwhelmed as Jason does, then that is all Percy does to show it.  
He barely gives Jason a chance to catch his breath, then he is trailing a line of kisses down until they meet Jason’s collarbone. There he bites down, harder than before, and the noise that leaves Jason’s mouth is a catch somewhere between a gasp and a groan.

Jason laces his fingers into Percy’s hair and pulls hard. He brings Percy’s head up until they are face to face again and from the looks of it, Percy doesn’t mind being handled rough like that.  
They eyes meet and Jason can’t help a grin. He dips one of his hands into the back of Percy’s boxers, cupping his ass, while the other keeps a loose grip on Percy’s hair.

Percy looks wrecked. His hair is mussed, his pupils blown, lips red from kissing and parted, chest heaving as Percy pants softly. The flush of his cheeks has spread all the way down his chest, where Jason spots the faintest leftover of the mark he has left on Percy the last time they were together.  
This is what does it for Jason, he loses his last bit control.

“We were supposed to shower.” Percy barely manages to rasp out the words, voice thick and gravely with either strain or arousal. Jason doesn’t give him much of a chance to talk, he swallows the next words by connecting their lips again and licking greedily into Percy’s mouth. It’s like he can’t get enough of it, like there is always more to taste, more to feel. It’s driving Jason crazy.

Percy hums, a low sound of pleasure, and suddenly there are fingers down Jason’s briefs, pushing them off and finally – _finally –_ touching him. Jason moans into the kiss, but Percy is not having any of it, muffling the sounds and silencing Jason with his teeth and his tongue.  
Percy’s fingers wrap around Jason’s cock, stroking painfully slow and teasing and Jason has to break their kiss to get the air back into his lungs.

It is the one lasting effect the whole drowning business has left on him, when something gets too intense, Jason sometimes has to stop and make sure he is still breathing. It’s like a string tying itself around Jason’s lungs, getting tighter and cutting off his air.

Before Jason has any chance to ponder on the thought or even panic, Percy licks the lobe of his ear, then takes it between his teeth and pulls slightly. It sends a shudder all the way down Jason’s back, the sting brings his mind back to the present and immediately he realises Percy has found one of his weak spots. He can feel the curve of Percy’s lips against his skin when he smiles, and then Percy’s mouth latches on the tender spot right behind his ear and _sucks_. It will leave a mark, there is no doubt, and instead of bothering Jason, it turns him on even more.  
Percy pulls away and admires his work for a second, the hand on Jason’s cock has moved on to get the briefs off Jason’s legs completely.

Jason finally wants to get his own hands on Percy and he unceremoniously pulls Percy’s own boxers down his legs in one swift movement. Instead of going back to standing where he did before, Jason backs away into one of the shower stalls. Percy follows without hesitation this time, his eyes are dark in a dangerous way and when the shower turns on on its own accord, Jason is only a little surprised.

Percy walks toward Jason like he is closing in on his prey, there is a small smile tugging on the corner of his lips and his eyes are slightly hooded. Jason can’t do anything but fall back against the wall and submit himself to Percy.

When Percy finally slides back against Jason, everything has slowed down a little. Percy drags his fingers up Jason’s torso, their eyes lock, and then Percy cups Jason’s face and kisses him.

It’s different. Jason can’t really place the feeling that ties his insides to knots when Percy’s lips brush over his ever so slightly, followed by the barest hint of tongue. It’s just as passionate, but it’s sweet at the same time, careful even. Percy’s thumb strokes over Jason’s cheek and Jason settles for winding his arms around Percy’s waist. If they had continued at their previous pace, this would have been over before it really started, so Jason is glad, if confused, for the change of mood.

Their bodies easily move against each other, the water running down Jason’s back and chest, seemingly disappearing where their hips are pressed flush together. When Percy rolls his now, their cocks slide together where they are trapped between them, and both boys moan into each other’s mouths.

Percy rests his forehead against Jason’s and suddenly, a grin splits his face.

“I thought you didn’t want me anymore.” He says, and it’s such an absurd thought that Jason laughs, shaking his head as much as their position allows.  
“Look at you.” Jason responds, the words slurred as his voice is low and thick with arousal. “How could I ever not want you?” It’s not as much about Percy’s body as it is about Percy himself, but Jason knows he can’t exactly admit that anymore. He told Percy that this doesn’t mean anything, so if he wants to enjoy it and make it last, he has to stick to this statement. Evidently, this seems to be what the other boy wants.

Percy takes a step back and smiles oddly at Jason, looking down on himself and then on Jason. He seems pleased with what he sees, and Jason is a bit confused until Percy’s smile turns back into the grin when he reaches for the shower gel discarded on his right.  
Jason watches as Percy turns the bottle over in his and squeezes a generous amount onto his palm. Jason lets his head rest back against the wall, breath coming fast and unsteady as his eyes follow Percy’s movements.  
Percy takes one of Jason’s hands, spreading the soap between their joined fingers, before he starts spreading it on Jason’s chest. Percy leans in and Jason moves to meet his lips. He mimics Percy’s movements and washes the other boy down.  

It’s more sensual then sexual, but Jason can’t deny enjoying it just as much as their heated touches before. They kiss slow and languid when Percy turns the water back on and proceeds to rinse them off. Jason shifts, causing his cock to brush against Percy’s and recalling his own aching hardness. He reaches down, wrapping a hand around both of them and starts stroking them slowly.

Percy goes from kissing him to sucking a new mark into his neck, and Jason suspects he’ll be covered in tiny marks and bruises by the end of the day. The thought is far too appealing, to be marked as Percy’s like this, and Jason picks up his pace without really noticing. Within a minute, Percy is resting his forehead against Jason’s shoulder, his lips pressed against the skin as he tries to keep his moans and whines quiet.

With all the tension built between them and the teasing before, it doesn’t take either of them long. Percy whimpers and curses, his voice breaking ever so slightly and when he comes, he presses his lips to Jason’s throat, but even that contact does nothing to muffle the sounds of his moans. Jason curses under his breath and lets his head fall against the wall again a little too hard, but before the pain blooms, he comes as well.  

Percy slumps against Jason after that, the still running water cleaning them off, even though it turned cold by now. They stay close like that for several minutes before Percy pulls back and steps backward out of the shower. Jason only hesitates for a second before following him out, and Percy catches him with his towel, pulling their bodies flush once more. He kissed Jason, gentle and promising, before he steps back and hands him a towel of his own.

 

 

Jason’s thoughts wander back to this encounter for the rest of the day. Like the last time, Percy goes back to acting normal, and Jason thinks he’s figured this out now. Looking back at the past few days, and even at how Percy acted earlier today, Jason guesses it was more or less his own fault that they took so long before they got back together again.

 _You really can’t take a hint, can you?_ Jason’s lips quirk up in a smile, he supposes he can’t. He’s been blind to all of Percy’s signs, and given that Percy was actually quite blunt about it, Jason feels like an utter idiot now. He could have had Percy all this time, even if it was only in a casual _“this doesn’t mean anything”-_ kind of way. His own fear of reading too much into it is the only thing standing in the way, but at least he can let go of that now.

People notice that Jason is distracted, but he can’t help his mind from wandering to far off places. Some campers even tease him a little, but he can’t bring himself to hold it against them. There are marks forming visibly on Jason’s throat and neck and he doesn’t even bother hiding them, so everyone knows what it is that has Jason with his head in the clouds. They don’t know who though, so far, it looks like this whole thing is his and Percy’s little secret. Jason likes that thought.

* * *

 

The first time Percy sneaks into Jason’s cabin at night, Jason nearly ends up stabbing him. The noise had startled Jason, and before he really is fully awake, his fighting instincts kick in and he jumps the intruder. Percy only laughs at him.

“Dude, I came to cuddle not to be impaled.” Percy laughs even more, probably because he notices the pun he’s just made and Jason rolls his eyes. He can’t help smiling a little, and asks himself why exactly he has chosen this one idiot out of all others to fall for.

“Sure you did.” Jason says, winks and then drops his blade. He almost leans in to press a kiss to Percy's lips, but then he remembers that they are not a couple, and that the only excuse Jason had for kissing Percy so far was lust. He isn't feeling that now.

Percy doesn't seem to notice Jason's musings, he just takes a hold of the other boy's wrist and pulls him back into the direction of the bed. There is no obvious reason for Percy's being here, he doesn't seem shaken or anxious, or even uncomfortable, he is smiling. Maybe he just wants to be close, Jason can get behind _that_ feeling.

He lets himself fall back onto his bed when Percy pushes him, grinning and mirroring the playful expression on Percy's face. Unlike the last time they shared bed, Percy slots himself into the curve of Jason's side, his head resting on Jason's shoulder and their legs tangled. Jason waits for Percy to relax, to feel him sink back into the covers, but the other boy remains tense. Jason turns his head, and indeed, the carelessness is gone from Percy's face, replaced with something akin to sadness that Jason doesn't quite understand.

"You okay?" He whispers and ducks his head a little to catch Percy's eyes. When Percy avoids his gaze, Jason reaches out and stroked a hand along the line of his jaw, before cupping his face and turning Percy's head so that he _has to_ face Jason.

They look at each other in silence for a moment, Percy's eyes flick over Jason's face like they are desperately trying to find something that doesn't seem to be there, and Jason really doesn't understand what's wrong with his friend. Eventually, Percy nods.

"I'm now." He winds himself out of Jason's grip to settle against him again, and Jason resigns to carding a hand through Percy's hair instead. He knows that Percy likes this, the gentle touch and repeating motion, and that it calms him down. Time passes, and just when Jason thinks about speaking up again, Percy lets out a slow breath and actually does melt into Jason. Whatever it was that kept him tense must be gone, or maybe Percy came to terms with whatever thoughts were plaguing him, so Jason allows himself to get some shut-eye as well.

 

When Jason wakes, Percy is gone, but there is a tiny note sticking to the headboard right in Jason's line of sight.

_Thank you._

Jason narrows his eyes, this isn't like Percy either, but maybe last night's situation excused that as well. Nothing around indicates that Percy has spent the night here, nothing but the note and the lingering warmth on the covers next to Jason. If it wasn't for that he probably would think it was nothing but a dream.

Yawning, Jason sits up and rubs his hands over his face. He doesn't know what to make of this, much less what to make of Percy's disappearing in the morning. He wasn't sure if he wanted to find out what was behind it either.

* * *

 

"You sure you don't want to join me in here?" Percy grins cockily, floating about a feet from the dock in the lake. Jason smiles lopsidedly, but shakes his head.

"Not sure I want to risk getting kidnapped to the ocean floor." Percy scoffs and gives Jason a look of mock scandal.

"I'd never do that." It's practically a purr, and that should send Jason running, because it's the perfect warning that Percy is up to something. Jason doesn't though, he lies still on the dock as Percy comes closer, and he doesn't even move away when Percy sneaks a hand to the back of his neck. "Anyway, it's kidnapping if you're enjoying it."

At first, Jason thinks Percy is going to kiss him, what he does instead though is pulling Jason off the dock and into the water. Jason goes rigid. He hasn't told Percy, but after he nearly drowned all those weeks ago, he is a little vary of actually going into the water. Percy notices too late, they're already under the surface when he catches sight of Jason's panicked face and his playful smile turns pained and guilty. In an instant, he rushed them up back above the surface, forcefully enough that they nearly fly out.

It's like a deja-vu, just that there is no painful burning and choking and that Jason can actually breathe easily and that there _is no reason to panic._ It's easier said than done, Jason still struggles actually concentrating on the simple task of getting air in and out of his lungs. Jason tells himself that he is overreacting, that he is safe and that Percy wouldn't intentionally hurt him and that he couldn't possibly know how Jason would react to going in the water again, but it doesn't help.

His heart is racing and it _hurts_ , but Jason feels like he is not even in his body anymore, like he has no control over it and its reaction, and that there is nothing he can do to stop this, and this is just making it worse. Jason doesn't notice Percy's talking to him, his ears are ringing and his sight starts to swim before his eyes.

That's when Percy kisses him. It must be the most inappropriate moment to kiss anyone ever, but strangely enough, Jason feels better after.

"Huh. Didn't think that would work." Jason blinks at Percy, who is still having the whole worried puppy thing going on, all wide eyes, deep frown and bitten lips.  
It really did work though, because Jason breathes again, and while his heart still beats faster than what is healthy, he doesn't feel like he is disconnected from his body anymore either.

"How'd you know that'd help?" Percy smoothes a hand over Jason's hair and the tenderness of it makes Jason ache. He manages to hold Percy's eyes, if only barely so; he wants an answer.

"Saw it a movie once. I didn't know what else to do." It sounds sincere, and lost, and Percy is cupping Jason's face in his hands now. "I'm sorry. I didn't think." In a situation less serious than this one, Jason would probably tell Percy that he never does, but right now is not the time for snide remarks. Instead, Jason shakes his head and gives Percy a soft smile.

"You didn't know." Jason didn't know himself that it would be _that_ bad. Granted, any lack of air made him go anxious recently, and he has been a bit queasy around water ever since, but Jason had never taken himself as one to panic like this.

"I should have." Percy's frowning more deeply now, and Jason can't watch him pushing the guilt into himself like this. He gives Percy a push, gentle but determined, and when Percy lets himself fall back Jason follows, connecting their lips before Percy's head even hits the dock.

* * *

 

"C'mon Grace, do you want me to _fucking beg_ for it?" Jason tries to hide his smile by pressing his lips to the inside of Percy's thigh again, and Percy only curses more. That's what Percy gets for being a tease, for riling Jason up all day until they finally got to the privacy of Jason's cabin.

They are particularly competitive today, Percy doesn't back down one bit, he doesn't even give Jason the benefit of making a sound, so Jason doesn't relent his teasing either.

"Would you?" Jason smirks and circles his fingers inside of Percy's hole, full well knowing that he's hitting Percy's prostate with his movements. The other boy's hips buck, but his lips are sealed into a thin line. Percy shakes his head and Jason crooks his head to the side. "Are you sure?" Jason strokes over the spot again, this time it almost sounds like Percy swallowed a whine. "I have time."

At that, Percy pushed himself up on one elbow, looking down to where Jason is lying and glares at him. They stare at each other, Percy narrows his eyes like he's trying to look intimidating, but the effect is ruined by the fact that he is stretched out naked in front of Jason.

"Please." Percy speaks through gritted teeth, and Jason nearly laughs. Percy's almost pouting at him, but there's a fierce kind of fire burning in his eyes that Jason never had the strength to resist. He could probably get even more out of this, but Jason decides that he's tortured Percy enough for one day.

He shifts onto his knees and sits half back, pulling Percy along by his hips. The other boy grins triumphantly, and Jason huffs a laugh. The tension diffuses and Percy arches his back to make it easier for Jason to push in. The angle is a bit awkward, so Jason slings an arm around Percy's waist and pulls him into his lap. Percy gasps, this new position allows Jason to slide even deeper into him, and the hand he has clasped on Jason's shoulder tightens its grip.

Jason gives Percy time, always mindful not to hurt him, but as soon as Percy starts to shift, they move as one. Percy wraps his legs tightly around Jason's waist and raises himself up, Jason steadies Percy with his hands on the other one's hips and rolls his hips up when Percy sinks back down. He finds Percy's lips with his own, and even though their angle makes it a little complicated they keep their lips connected even as they pick up a pace.

The move fluid, meeting each other halfway with ever push and pull, arms wound around each other in a right embrace. It's nothing like the heated rivalry from before, the trying to one up each other even in this. Instead it’s intimate and gentle, Jason knows it'll leave him aching for more that he can't have.

Percy moans and Jason's eyes fall closed. Their foreheads are resting against each other, their lips barely brushing, but sharing every breath they take. There's another breathless sound and Percy tangles his fingers tightly in Jason's hair. It feels a lot like desperation when Percy kisses him then, pushing himself down on Jason's cock with uncalled for ferocity, like he wants to get closer but can't.

All that Jason understands is that things like this make his heart ache, like someone tied a ribbon around it and tightened the knot too much, and that he feels the same desperation burning deep inside.

* * *

 

Jason doesn't know what to think when he sees Percy and Will. His first instinct is to run over and push them apart, but he can't do this of course. Just because he has a fling with Percy doesn't mean he has a monopoly on him, even if their thing has been going on for months now.

It still stings to see Percy with someone else, Jason has gotten so used to them being together that it felt natural. Neither of them cared if they were seen, and no matter how much Jason tried to convince himself that it was nothing but a sexual relationship, he knew that wasn't true.

Jason turns around and has to use all his willpower to walk and not run from the scene. He needs to put an end to this or he's going to tear himself apart.

 

* * *

 

“You’re jealous.” Percy states dryly when Jason curves against his back and locks his arms over the other one's chest. 

“Am not.” Jason whispers. He's afraid that if he speaks up Percy will hear just _how much_ Jason is actually hurting. It's ridiculous, but that doesn't do anything to lessen Jason's pain. Percy snorts before responding, apparently even his whispers are enough to give Jason away tonight.

“Yes you are. The only fuck me like that when you’re angry or jealous.” Jason doesn’t answer, no idea what he’s supposed to say to that. Percy has a point, which is exactly why Jason remains silent. It's not like he can admit to being jealous.

“I mean,” Percy continues and turns around in Jason's hold. They are face to face, noses touching, and somehow that's worse than before. “Not that I don't like it, but I have a feeling that we should talk about it instead of fucking it out?”

This time, Jason scoffs.

“It worked well enough so far.” Suddenly, Percy's face pulls into a frown and Jason regrets even having said anything.

“I want more than well enough.” Percy's voice goes quiet by the last word, and the only thing Jason can really see in the dark of the cabin is the sparkle in his eyes. "I... don't think well enough is working for me anymore."

Jason swallows. This is it then, Percy is going to tell him that they need to stop this, and even though Jason had been planning to do the same ever since he first saw Percy and Will kissing in the arena, he hadn't had the strength to actually cut their ties yet.

"I know you saw me and Will." Percy grimaces and the confession is like a punch to the gut for Jason. He wants to slip away, wants to go, but Percy has a tight hold on him and anyway, Jason doubts he can actually bring himself to leave before he doesn't know where this ends. Percy swallows and out of nowhere, brings his hand up to touch his fingers gently to Jason's face. "I wanted to convince myself that I don't care about you the way I do. Didn't work."

Jason doesn't understand what Percy's saying at all, but the words don't sound good, he can't even respond, his throat dry and tongue in knots. But Percy seems to have planned this, even though he's usually the one struggling with words, they come easily now.

"You said this doesn't mean anything, but it does. To me. A lot." Percy's voice goes thick with emotion and there's definitely more he wants to say, Jason can see it in the way his face scrunches into a frown and his mouth opens and closes, but at the same time Jason knows that this is all he is going to get.

Jason can't answer, can't find a single word in his mind that would describe what he is thinking, so he presses his lips to Percy to show him like that what he can't say.

Maybe this was actually kind of serious right from the beginning.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, final part. What did you think? Happy with the ending? Should there have been more?

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos bring me joy, please tell me what you thought of this ;)
> 
> Please note that Percy's healing abilities are not canon in the books, I just like the idea of it and chose to include this headcanon in my work.


End file.
